hi, guys, it’s me leane and I’m not gonna lie but… this is maybe weird for me to say but I know it’s normal to be in love with the girl and even though I’m a girl ever since when I was 9 years old since the year 2004 that was like a very long time ago when I was in second grade I remember it was my first day and I’m the new girl I remember I was wearing pants and t-shirt and black shoes which is I can’t remember what shoes they are?? and I remember I had a named tag on my t-shirt, that’s all I remember but… while I was walking in the classroom some teacher with me I think she was showing me around or something, I mean i was a new girl and she was behind me I don’t know who she is ?? or what’s her name? I might think she’s not just a teacher I think she a guidance counselor, well… when I first saw my new classmates and I’m so nervous at the time, well… I’ve been in different schools ever since on my childhood days because I got bullied at my old school, well… I think that’s the problem why I change schools so many times back then, I remember when I was in second grade I like this girl she’s really beautiful and I start liking her because she was really pretty and I don’t know where to start that why I start liking her maybe for me it’s normal to crush on a girl, maybe because I only have a crush on a girl because she was pretty and smart kid, I remember I have a journal around me which is I start writing some love letters in my notebook and I think that’s all it starts why I still keep a journal in my bag in my whole life, I start to write everything in there like writing with hearts and writing I love you so much everything I said in that journal I love you and I wanna say that you are so beautiful, maybe someday I wish I could wake up every day seeing you forever for the rest of my life but… that’s not gonna happen anyway, because maybe someday when we graduate soon and we’re gonna be high school very soon I might never gonna see you again like ever because I might transfer school again like over and over again, well… that’s all I remember when I was in second grade I’ve never thought i would be like that, if I were a boy for a day maybe I will wake up in the morning seeing myself in the mirror freaking out I have new life and turning into a guy which I don’t know him, and I don’t know his name and the only thing I could say is…. maybe I just turn into a guy for reason I mean if that thing could happen to me maybe i will be freaking out, and asking someone for help like a best friend or something maybe she will help me if ever she trusted me or something, if not maybe she will think of me I was a pervert and serial killer or a stranger that tries to steal her bag or whatever and maybe I will tell her things what I know about her like she got a tattoo says stay strong on her right hand or left hand or something and I will tell her I was your only friend, everybody throw rocks at you, and I remember I was keeping you safe and protect you from not getting bullied and I will tell you every day that no one can’t hurt you anymore, because I will always be here for you, and I tell her I remember on my 13 birthday year 2007 I remember you bought me a t-shirt guns and roses, and I will tell her I still have it and have proof I was wearing that shirt just so you will know I’m your best friend, and maybe she will believe me help me out every step of the way, while I was wearing this body that I don’t even know, and maybe if I spend her house every night for like weeks now, and start talking to each other like late night talks, until we got bored of talking until we fall asleep, and almost every day I’ve been your house and I’ve been hiding in your room, and we hang out a lot and not knowing you were in love with me, I just made youy realize what is love is,
since when I was born in this world I knew what I want someday, and I know it will change my life forever I just knew this is my life and I wanna be a writer that’s who I am and ever since when I was a kid I start writing and I had my first notebook that my mom bought for me,
I know people use to reject me that I will never make it for being a writer but there are wrong, they don’t even know what is like to be a writer people thought it was just a waste time but it’s not they just hate writing that’s all but I like it, it turns out writing has changed my life people will never understand that because they don’t write at all and me I’m just different from them I was a weird one io always have a journal or diary so I can write down every word that expresses for who I am writing helps me to understand everything even though people don’t really understand me.
having my own journal makes me feel happy and makes me realize I’m apart on this world and I think that’s the most important in life there are so many things to write on I mean there’s more working to do and I almost forgot I write so many stories but I’ve never Begin to finish them maybe I couldn’t even write a long story back then but at least I didn’t give up,
because writing meant so much to me and that’s who I am and I want this, this is my life and no one is stopping me to follow my dream, we should never give up if you really know what you want something I guess you better work hard for it,
today I’m here at the movies and I was waiting for hours now and I haven’t touched my kit-kat or my soda, and after the movie, people just went out and everything maybe the movie was over or something I just had to check it out or something and I put my drink and food in the sit put my bag next to me while I was sitting down someone came in and told me to step out first because there cleaning up duty which is I don’t even know it was really embarrassing and I’ve never felt like that before that was messed up and everything oh my god leane why do you have to be so stupid sometimes well… I didn’t know anyway, if I only know maybe I will be waiting outside or something, well it happens anyway right?? I mean people made mistakes anyway, so I think everybody knows that nobody is perfect and I think that’s how life works,
I wanna take some time off on work just so I can take myself some time to get busy with this writing and I know I’m earning money as the best I can like right now or even tomorrow, and I haven’t talked to my dad since two months now maybe I was ignoring them or something I mean all of my family in the Philippines, I keep avoiding them, maybe I just don’t want to talk to them because the one thing they need about me is money and that head set that may cousin wants which really not cool, they didn’t realize how much it’s hard for to earn money in america,
they didn’t understand back then when I was in the Philippines I couldn’t even tell them what the fuck is my problem is?? and I just don’t want them to know because they couldn’t understand at all because they think I was so weird to be in their family, back then they keep telling that I doubt it that you will go to America someday they think I wasn’t going there but… there wrong i did go here and my dream came true,
hi, guys, it’s Leane Laca and probably you guys already know me and the people that know me and use to hate for no reason which I don’t know why?? I mean who the fuck I care anyway, lately I’ve been making different stories about my life and it didn’t even work at all because I was not ready to be serious about making this story on my own and I didn’t know what to do about it, so I just took may time to do this, and being a writer is really a hard thing to do and pretty much everything will just you know takes time to do and takes time to start to make a title and the stories about what’s gonna happen?? I mean I tried really hard to focus but… there’s nothing on my mind to pick up the story all I do is starting to listening some music and taking every time I needed to focus on something that I’ve never seriously worked on, in my whole in tire life I just write short stories back then in wattpad and there times when I write a story I couldn’t even finish it because I wasn’t serious about the story that I was making off, and it really took me a minute why can’t i write about something ?? that wasn’t even on my head or wasn’t even ready to make a full story but… in this year 2017 and I know it’s gonna be 2018 and I’m only 22 years old and I will be 23 in next may time files you know by the minute you were born In this world and not knowing about life before, no clue that what’s gonna happen in your life, everything in my childhood days was so easy and I just express myself without knowing that everybody hates me on my childhood days, but… now, I realize life is harder, to begin with, like making a decision on your own and having a job on your own and having this complicated things about in life I mean that’s how life works, you go to work, earn money live in the small apartment and try to have a life of your own and making money is really hard to do and I didn’t realize your parents working hard just so people can live i mean without money maybe we have nothing at all, we need to work hard for it, and think about in the positive way, because I know we can do it, even though how hard is with this bullshit with been leaving on, well… atlease we been working hard all the things we want the most and the things that make us happy I think that’s all it matters, and i almost forgot I just made a new story about this nice guy named jason cullen well… he’s not a real person he was just apart of my imagination and he doesn’t really exist in this world at all but… while making this story i will make him more exist even though he’s not a real person at all he was just a story and i’m in love with this story that i’ve been working on I mean i couldn’t stop thinking about the guy that wasn’t even real, he was totally gorgeous and it hurts he’s single and pale skin, great hair, read books of twilight series and shy but.. cute and the one thing i know about him he’s got a cute personality and he was kind but sometimes weird, because he doesn’t have any friends at all he was you know trying to be himself to be that guy who’s nice and kind, shy, cute personality,gorgeous,single,loves music and he knows everything and i forgot to say he’s got a crush on taylor swift ever since when he was 14 years old and he loves taylor swift songs even though the old taylor was dead, and i fell in LOVE with jason cullen even though he’s not real at all he was just my imagination apart of my story and i’ve never done this before in my life like falling in love with someone that wasn’t even real at all, i just made him up, just so people can relate that kind of guy he really is, and this is the new story that i’ve been working on and this is the firstime for me to fell in love with someone in the part of my story, this story is the best thing that could happen to me, and jason cullen just blow my mind, and he make me fell in love with him, even though he’s not real and not the real person at all, so i think that’s all i have to say and this story will change my life forever,
this is my story about Jason Cullen well… I made him up and his, not a real person at all he was just apart of my imagination and everything if Jason Cullen was real maybe he will be a nice guy that people will ever meet or some people will never understand more about him, well… I have to say I really do understand about what’s gonna happen to that story and I just need to work it out and focus on this one, I mean this is really huge for me and I have to do it.
I mean I don’t know what’s gonna happen to Jason Cullen’s story I mean I haven’t figured it out yet well… I have a story about him but… the problem is I don’t know what gonna happen anyway, the one thing I could say about him… is… he was nice and single he has pale skin and he was really gorgeous but… it really hurts me that he still single I mean come on dude your single you need to live a little you fucking tool i mean sorry about that he was just apart of my story and everything, he’s not real at all, and he’s got cute personality he was very shy person but… believe me this guy can be himselve you know, I mean you will never meet a guy like this, he was really young and he was only 22, he was 5’11 he was short guy and everything, but… he doesn’t care about being short I mean as long he still gorgeous I bet people don’t even care shortly he is, and I almost forgot he’s got great hair and he loves taylor swift songs because jason cullen has a crush on taylor swift, and second he has no freinds well… he’s not much of a friendly guy sometimes he just like being friends with someone that knows about life and everything,
I mean he wants to be acting like he an adult and I think he just wants people to understand him, even more, better, third he loves watching a movie called Twilight like every movie about vampires and everything well… just only twilight series and also he reads books from the author of Stephanie Meyers, that’s all I know about him he was really different guy and he’s not like all the others, that’s what I like about him, he’s different and he doesn’t know how to talk to a girl he just never tried to fall in love with the girl before I guess he just wasn’t ready yet, or something maybe he just looking for someone simple and more like down to earth I mean sometimes jason cullen takes some time to find a girl he like, and he doesn’t have an apartment or anything like he doesn’t have a house he just have big bus that he turned into a house and everything, I mean he build that himselve well… except the bathroom and everthing the bathroom has already have lots of water in there, and he still needs a big tank to refill all the water he needs on his big bus, well… that’s it, for now, i just need to focus on my story and I hope he will fall in love and make some happy endings, well this is no fairy tales this is the life I’ve been working on,
the one thing I can do now is drinking coffee and got nothing to do, and I have 91 dollars in my wallet which Is I love raising money of my own and one thing I could say for myself is… I’m a great writer and I know no matter what happens I will always be that great writer that people will never understand, and this is me now I’m doing this for me and I will make this better but… not perfect because I’m not perfect at all and I wanna make it better and I don’t care if people don’t understand everything that I do, because they don’t know what I’m thinking people don’t even read minds and the only thing they can do is ask a lot and being curious to everybody looking at them if there bad or good,